Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
by royslady51
Summary: Death Eaters Attack Hogwarts. Hermione Uses A Vicious, Contagious Bit Of Pervasive Muggle Music, Set On Sonorous So It Can Be Heard Both Inside And Outside The Wards, To Transform The Attackers Into Something Else, Driving Them Utterly Insane In The Process. The Only Way To Protect Against It, Is To Sing Along...Which Infects The Singers As Well.


TITLE: BAAA, BAAAAAAAAAAAAA

FANDOM: HARRY POTTER

AUTHOR: ROYSLADY51

EMAIL: royslady51

ARCHIVE: THE WWOMB

TYPE: DRABBLE

TYPE: AU

PAIRINGS: NONE

WARNING: INVOLVES THE MOST INSIDIOUS BIT OF MUSIC KNOWN TO THE WESTERN WORLD. The references alone are enough to infect your brain for days. Use caution.

SUMMARY: DEATH EATERS ATTACK HOGWARTS. HERMIONE USES A VICIOUS, CONTAGIOUS BIT OF PERVASIVE MUGGLE MUSIC, SET ON SONOROUS SO IT CAN BE HEARD BOTH INSIDE AND OUTSIDE THE WARDS, TO TRANSFORM THE ATTACKERS INTO SOMETHING ELSE, DRIVING THEM UTTERLY INSANE IN THE PROCESS. THE ONLY WAY TO PROTECT AGAINST IT, IS TO SING ALONG...WHICH INFECTS THE SINGERS AS WELL.

AUTHOR NOTE: I'm really, really, reaaaally sorry, but this rabbit has distemper...or rabies...or something.

**BAAA, BAAAAAAAAAAAAA**

"I'm so _sorry_, there's no other way if we don't want them inside the walls...or anyone dead, you _know_ that." Granger was apologizing to the muggleborns and half-bloods who were staring at her in horror.

"You KNOW what that does to people! And you're going to use it as an infectious weapon?" Seamus blurted out.

"Yes, but do you see any other choice? And really, as long as you sing along it shouldn't drive you to gibbering."

"Yes...and it will take us weeks or months to recover..." Another student retorted.

"Yes, I _wish_ there was another way...but I've got the testing materials set up. We'll know when to push it outside the wards."

"Rainbow robes?"

"Yes." She shuddered. "There is one that's worse...we _could_ use that."

"NO! NOT _THAT_, **ANYTHING** BUT THAT. DON'T YOU DARE, GRANGER!"

"I agree. Blues C is bad, but not as bad as _that_." A muggleborn Ravenclaw, to the bemusement of the staff, gave a full body shudder.

"You realize that if they break through the wards, we're not going to have a choice?"

Groans rippled through the Great Hall.

"The Headmaster...," Harry warned, "He's barmy enough, don't you think?"

Albus blinked, "If it will save the school, do it. If it's the stronger defense, use it Miss Granger" He looked at the dread on every Muggleborn's face.

Severus Snape sneered. "It's muggle music, how effective could it be?" He felt a strong foreboding when every child reared in the Muggle World turned and looked at him with an expression of condescending _pity_.

"_Poor Professor Snape_," Harry murmured. It might take years for him to recover."

The music rippled all through the School, spreading out over the grounds and pressed against the wards, slipping through them, for Albus had set the instrumental up first, causing to to be integrated with the rest of the School's defenses. Hermione asked him to place five or six sonorouses, one on top of the next, protected by Unbreakables, and make sure the only went active if an attack was in progress. The music was a bright, happy, bouncy, joyous melody...but the words were already there. Only if an attack on the wards occurred would the horrid chorus open up to assault the attackers.

Of course, she explained, the defenders would have to suffer through it, also, but the defense was simple...just sing along.

And the attack did come, as they had all known it would. Woebegone faces on the muggleborns and halfbloods warned people as they opened their mouths and joined in...so as to reduce The Song's effect on themselves. Not that anything could prevent some kind of an effect, but at least this way they had a chance of not being driven completely barmy.

And the Headmaster had no chance at all: He was the first one to start singing along and dancing about.

_**THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T END, IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND, SOMEBODY STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND NOW IT JUST GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON BECAUSE, THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T END, IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND, SOMEBODY STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND NOW IT JUST GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON BECAUSE, THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T END, IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND, SOMEBODY STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND NOW IT JUST GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON BECAUSE, THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T END, IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND, SOMEBODY STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND NOW IT JUST GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON BECAUSE, THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T END, IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND, SOMEBODY STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND NOW IT JUST GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON BECAUSE, THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T END, IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND, SOMEBODY STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND NOW IT JUST GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON BECAUSE, THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T END, IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND, SOMEBODY STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND NOW IT JUST GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON BECAUSE...**_

Permeated the grounds, inside the wards as well as out. Hufflepuffs were infected first, beginning to sing, bounce, play and getting the poor Headmaster to brighten up their clothes to bright, loud colors.

Albus was bouncing around, flitting from one side of the Castle to the other, dancing and whirling about, his robes had never been so bright and cheerful.

Snape was hiding in his office, gripping his desk, head bowed and body tense as he tried _desperately_ to ignore that..._**Song**_.

That insidious, nasty, evilly HAPPY, _**Song**_. And he was losing ground steadily.

His eyes locked on that damned Robe, that Granger had left him. He could _feel_ the changes occurring as he looked at it. It became more and more attractive to him. He whimpered as the darkness within himself lightened, first to gray, then silver, then to off-white...and after that...

The robe was a softly silken, light, airy _gauze_...and white with awful, bright, multicolored polka dots and swirls of color, all over it. Once he succumbed, Granger had said, most of the Death Eaters would have already been forcibly made Light, cleansed of any trace of Darkness.

_It was just that kind of a Song._

And Wizardry didn't have any real defense and no immunity at all, she'd told him..._with the full agreement of every muggleborn student in Hogwarts._

He felt joy and love infuse his soul, moaning as he dropped the ugly, nasty, black Teaching Robe and reached eagerly for the new one. He didn't even notice...or care...how he'd just been altered.

"Oh, how _wonderful_," He thought happily, "My new underwear is a bright pink...and so are my boots! Isn't that _pretty_! He donned the beautiful robe Hermione had so thoughtfully left for him and _bounced_ out of his office to join the rest of the joyful staff members, the children and Albus...

Hermione paused in one of the Towers to look at the encampment outside the wards, everyone out there looked like they had bright, rainbow colored robes, too...and Tom Riddle was grabbing hands all around him for a game or Ring Around the Rosie.

The Dementors had become bright yellow house elves spirits..._interesting_, she thought.

The werewolves had all been turned into what looked like french cut, white, Standard _poodles_...and Lucius Malfoy looked like a high priced…._oh dear_.

She sighed, tripping the preset spell that would start the reduction of volume. It would never go completely away, of course...not _that_ Song, but it would be more sensed than heard. And _that_ they could learn to live with.

She hoped.

_**~Finis~**_


End file.
